Portraits In Randomness: Now Featuring 30% More Edicts!

January 22nd, 2009 by John Krolik


Nobody actually calls it Frisco.

-Things that will not happen, chapter 31.4- A wee bit of background on me. I was raised and currently reside in the Bay Area when not in school. While the Cavs are my team, the Warriors will always have a special place in my heart-my first blog is named after them.

-So if you’re looking for this site to get blog-crazy on one of the best Warriors of all time, especially one as cool as Rick Barry, look elsewhere. Consider:

-Rick Barry, despite being a not-that-explosive white guy and there being no three-point line in the NBA, was essentially allowed to fire up deep jumpers enough to get 30 a game because he was awesome.

-From his loins sprung Brent Barry, the only white guy to win a dunk contest and a beloved “old guy who just hits open jumpers but is only on good teams” and Jon Barry, who is an underrated TV guy.

-He shot free-throws underhanded, which was cool enough, but he did it REALLY WELL. This is one of my favorite random sports things ever-it would be like if Andrew Jones won a gold glove catching easy pop flies with his teeth.

-Dude, he’s old and in the Hall of Fame. What’s the point of amassing a lifetime of incredible achievements if you can’t say whatever the hell you want when you’re old? John Wooden gets to go around saying that dunking is a bad strategic ploy because the ball could bounce really hard off the rim and start a fast-break the other way. He’s earned the right to say crazy things.

-In the great troika of “old white shooters,” Rick is less agressively uncool than Jerry West and less cursed and crazy than Pistol Pete.

-And honestly, he wasn’t that far off. I think LeBron’s sometimes-suspect perimeter game is more about his lack of understanding on how to be effective with that element of his game than an actually flawed stroke, but he does change something in his stroke like every two weeks. And he’s not nearly as surgical at using screens as some in the NBA are. He’s amazing, not perfect.

-And honestly, how could you argue with Rick Barry’s definition of textbook form?


Barry, either shooting a free throw or spying a very good-looking woman in the stands.