Turkey and Stuffing

Hope everyone had a happy holiday. I don’t know about you, but one of my favorite Thanksgiving pairings is turkey and stuffing (and my Mother-in-Law makes great stuffing). We contemplated these two elemental Thanksgiving foods as we looked around the NBA this week. Who are the NBA’s turkeys so far this year, and which guys are stuffing the stat sheet?

EvilGenius

Turkey: The Houston Rockets

If not for old pal Mike Brown’s abbreviated second “season” with the Lakers in 2012-13 (which lasted all of five games before the Potato got mashed), Kevin McHale coming up with the short end of the wishbone after 11 games this season with the Rockets might have qualified as the shortest distance between the two points of success and failure. It still might go down as one of the speediest descents from enjoying the rich gravy of competing in the Conference Finals… to struggling to get a second helping while getting blown out by non-playoff teams. What a difference a few months make… as an off-season extension for McHale turned into a nightmare start, where his own guests decided to excuse themselves from his table even before this bird got served. Clearly, Darryl Morey is not one of the more patient GMs in the league, since he relieved McHale of his carving duties while dishing up plenty of blame to go around.

“It’s not just 4-7,” said Morey. “It’s not just that we’ve been losing. It’s how we’re losing. We’re losing by 10, 20 points to teams have to beat at home in the Western Conference. We don’t have time to wait. The defense just isn’t there.”

The Rockets barely resemble the team that eclipsed the Clips to get to the NBA’s final four last year, but, I’m sure it has nothing to do with the presence of oft-injured coach-killer, Dwight Howard; or the “indifferent defender” and former MVP candidate, James Harden’s lack of interest in guarding anyone; or Morey’s decision to bring in Ty Lawson (who is shooting 32 percent overall and 25 percent on 3-pointers, with an assist-to-turnover ratio under two); or Patrick Beverly and Donatas Montiejunas being sidelined with injuries; or stopper Trevor Ariza having one of his worst ever defensive seasons; and so on…

But hey, there’s no need to fear… J.B. Bickerstaff is here! Seems like the perfect table setting for a rookie head coach. Bon appetit, J.B. (and keep an eye on that knife).

Stuffing: Andre “The Giant” Drummond, C, Detroit Pistons

I still remember the year my mom went from relying on the store-bought-instant-just-add-water brand of stuffing, and stepped her game up to her own dynamite made-from-scratch-cook-inside-the-bird recipe. The difference was revelatory. So too is the evolution of Andre Drummond ever since Stan Van Gundy started mixing things up in the kitchen for the Pistons, as he strives to turn them into a replica of a latter day 2008-09 Orlando Magic. Remember when Andre fell to the eighth pick in the 2012 NBA Draft because of the concerns about his raw offensive game and motor? Well, those days of famine are no more… replaced by the feast of delicious offensive statistical stuffing.

The Giant serving up some stuffing…

On opening night of the regular season, Drummond gobbled up 18 points and 19 rebounds against the Atlanta Hawks, making a meal out of Al Horford and Tiago Splitter. And, he’s only gotten more voracious since. In the first six games, Drummond put up three 20-point, 20-rebound nights, something that had only been accomplished by Wilt Chamberlain and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. That outburst included an unbelievable 29-point, 27 rebound explosion against the Portland Trail Blazers. For the season, he’s averaging an insanely robust 18.1 points and 17.6 boards per game.

But, his smorgasbord of early-season numbers have outshone his real bread-and-butter… defense. It’s again the difference between store-bought and from-scratch for the Pistons’ D when Drummond is on the court (97 points per 100 possessions) compared to when he’s on the bench (101.8 points per 100). There are also very few other players with the same flavor profile as the Giant. His strength and speed allows him to take care of centers while occasionally switching out and guarding against a power forward or wing. Drummond’s leaping ability has also allowed him to be a solid shot-blocker (1.4 per game). All in all, Andre is stuffing the stat sheet, while stuffing everything else in sight…

David Wood

Stuffing: Ryan Anderson

Last year was power forward Ryan Anderson’s worst in his entire life. He was recovering from back surgery for a herniated disk and was also dealing with the suicide of his long time girlfriend. He posted just 13.7 points a night, and grabbed just 3.5 rebounds. He hit only 34% of his threes. These were near low career numbers for him.

This year Ryan is back and stretching the floor better better than ever, averaging 19.8 points and close to seven boards a game. He’s the highest scoring bench man in the league and keeps defenses running out to the 3-line. He’s shooting 40.6% from deep, and draining two 3s a night.

Anthony Davis should be thankful he’s rolling with Ryan in the stretch four role. Anderson sucked up 3.7 offensive rebounds and four defensive boards a game in his last season with the Magic and Dwight Howard. He knows how to sneak in for easy put backs when his fellow big man demands attention. He’s currently grabbing two offensive boards a night.

Turkey: Roy Hibbert

The Lakers are so sad that more than one of us named a turkey from them. Roy Hibbert is 7’2” and gets just 6.8 rebounds a night. That’s 53rd in the league. That number wouldn’t be a shame if Hibbert was an offensive mastermind or setting up easy buckets like Marc Gasol, but he’s pretty much just supposed to get rebounds and block shots (He’s blocking 2.3 shots a night, which is pretty good, so he’s not totally useless.)

Hibbert isn’t even facing a bunch of competition from teammates for boards either. Julius Randle leads the Lakers in rebounding, grabbing 8.6 per game. The other knock on Hibbert is his lack of offensive boards, just 1.9 a night. He’s playing with supreme bricker Kobe Bryant. Bryant is missing 11.3 shots an outing and usually dribbles for 15 seconds before chucking a brick. You’d think Hibbert would start to get in position for an offensive rebound as soon as Kobe got the ball, since Kobe is usually a lock to shoot. A few more offensive boards and Roy wouldn’t be the target of posts like this one.

On a side note, how many teams have a season where no player on them is having a career year? Usually, one player somehow figures out how to make an excellent quinoa salad out of turds.

Cory Hughey

Stuffing: Paul George, F, Indiana Pacers

I was at the LA Fitness on Bundy Drive (yes, that Bundy Drive) drenching the stair master with my Midwestern onion sweat when Paul George broke his leg on the stanchion during a meaningless national exhibition game. My gasp was so loud that every head in the gym turn my way. I seriously felt for the guy. He was one of my favorite non-Cavs in the league to watch. He was proof that solid scouting can win over tanking. He was the most promising two-way wing to hit the league since LeBron, and at that moment it appeared that his career could be in jeopardy. I’ve probably ran George to the Cavs through the trade machine twenty times since that gruesome day because he could have been the ultimate buy low in years. George made his initial return late last season on a minutes count, but it was too late for a playoff push. Many wondered if he would ever be the same player again?

PG-13 is back and he’s better than ever. He’s pacing a new fleet of Pacers to a 9-5 record, good for third in the East, and they are currently tied with the Thunder for the fourth largest point differential in the league. We’re just over a sixth of the way through the season, and George thus far is averaging career highs in points per game (25.9), three-point percentage (45.7%), rebounds (8.4), assists (4.8) and true shooting percentage (.597). Of all of the teams in the East, the Pacers experienced the most upheaval to their core, and they figure to get even better as the players become more familiar with one another.

Turkey: Kobe Bryant, G, Los Angeles Lakers

I don’t blame Kobe at all for taking the two-year, $48.5 million contract he was given two summers ago. It was a lifetime achievement 401K deal. It has been argued that the deal handcuffed the franchise from competing for a title in his twilight years, but the truth is that what made Kobe great, is also the burden of having him. His passion for game the game and his competitiveness are so great that they are maladaptive in the sense that he can’t accept another role. He treats teammates like they are beneath him, rather than work with them. My brother is a maniacal Lakers fan as there is (my awesome nephew is named Kobe), and occasionally we will have back and forth Kobe/LeBron debates. He’ll volley that Kobe will do anything to win, and doesn’t care about what the media thinks of him. I’ll return with “guys will take a pay cut to play with LeBron, no one wants to spend their prime with Kobe in a city with more beautiful women than any where else on the planet.”

The only seasons in Bryant’s illustrious career that he’s averaged less than his current 15.2 points per game are his six game injury marred 2013-14 season, and his rookie year. His .415 true shooting percentage and 10.2 PER are both career lows. Kobe’s -3.96 RPM is 72nd out of 76 qualifiers at his position. The worst part is that it could actually get worse. I viewed Wednesday night’s Lakers/Warriors game as perhaps the last great moment of revelence for Kobe’s career with a national TV game against the undefeated Dubs. His four points on 14 shots performance fell to the Earth like a WKRP in Cincinnati promotional turkey in the 111-77 loss. Even as an admitted Kobe hater, it’s sad to see him go out like this. This is Roseanne running it into the ground bad. The urine and vomit stained streets of Hollywood Boulevard deserve better than this.

Robert Attenweiler

Turkey: The Los Angeles Lakers’ Guard Play.

It was pretty much a foregone conclusion that the Lakers would struggle this year. Kobe Bryant is playing in his 19th (and likely final) season and the team, while drafting D’Angelo Russell second overall in 2015 in hopes of striking “big point guard” gold for a second time in franchise history, also brought in known gunner Lou Williams to play basketball tug of war with Bryant, Russell and Nick Young. ‘Tis was not going to be a season of sharing in L.A., but how little passing is going on between the purple and gold is really pretty staggering.

Bryant leads the team in assists with 3.7 a game. He’s followed by Williams at 2.8, Russell at 2.7 then the team’s starting power forward Julius Randle with 2.5. All told, the Lakers are averaging just 19 assists per game which is just plain awful when you’re a team so wholly built around guard play.

Stuffing: Brandon Knight, Guard, Phoenix Suns.

Good for Brandon Knight. After spending the last year and a half best known for being on the receiving end of a DeAndre Jordan… well, of this —

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fh0AQw3WFkE

— Knight is putting up numbers that could go a long way toward making his reputation around the league what it was always supposed to be when he came out of Kentucky in 2011: being able to flat-out shoot the rock. Through November 20, Knight was averaging 21.9 points per game, six points higher than his career average. He’s doing it while posting a PER of 21.3 and shooting over 45% from the floor, including 41.3 % from downtown. He’s even chipping in nearly five assists and five rebounds a game in Phoenix’s two combo-guard backcourt (with Eric Bledsoe) and has Phoenix off to a surprising 7-5 start in the tough Western Conference.

I mean, you still take Kyrie first… but Knight’s been spectacular so far this year.

Nate Smith

To pay homage to those of us who don’t attend one thanksgiving, but instead drive around frantically to two, three, or even four, I’m checking out the serving tables from around the league for my turkey and stuffing.

The Turkeys: Darryl Morey is a gobbler for thinking that a back court of Ty Lawson and James Harden could be anything other than terrible at defense. Then he fired the chef who couldn’t make a gourmet meal out of unthawed turkey, Stovetop Stuffing, powdered mashed potatoes, and a can o’gravy.

Does anyone enjoy the hubris and now panic of the Clippers more than me? What, Lance Stephenson and Josh Smith on the loose together in LA isn’t working out? I wrote this in the preseason…

Can the Clippers survive with this many knuckleheads? The old adage is that you can survive with one knucklehead, but not two. Well, the Clippers have at least four: DeAndre, Josh Smith, Lance Stephenson, and Glen Davis. This doesn’t include borderline cases like Austin Rivers and Blake.

Now the Clippers are floating panic trades, and NBA writers are making up ways for them to get the Celtics’ 2016 lottery pick from the Nets. Yep, Turkeys, the lot of them.

Gerald Green is one of those guys who just can’t ever seem to get out of his own way. Signed to bolster Miami’s thin bench, Green is ranked 394th in RPM right now and is posting a PER of 5.7 despite playing over 20 minutes a game. He was also fined 25K for an obscene gesture in preseason and suspended for two games by the Heat for a bizarre incident where he punched someone in his condo and got restrained by the cops for his crazy behavior after they showed up. Gobble Gobble.

Mickey Loomis, Dell Demps, and the whole cabal running the Pelicans were responsible for firing Monty Williams in the same year he took the team to the playoffs for the first time in five years. Then they hired career retread, Alvin Gentry who has a history of mediocrity. I’ll admit it. I’ve been holding onto this bad tasting turkey in my freezer since last spring.

Nerlens’ shot chart resembles a turkey’s plumage.

We all know the biggest turkey in the NBA is Sam Hinkie. At 0-16, the Sixers are worse than the dessicated bird from Christmas Vacation. Nerlens Noel has been terrible so far this season. His shot chart tells you why. (I know, I just dumped him in fantasy). To top it off, Jalil Okafor just punched a heckler. I cannot wait to watch Dion Waiters leading this rafter next year. (I bet you didn’t know a group of turkeys was called a rafter).

The Stuffing: I know, I know. Kristaps Porzingis is having a pretty good year for a rookie. But if he played in Minnesota, and Karl Anthony-Towns played in the Garden? No one would know who Kristaps was. KAT is looking like a monster so far: a PER over 21, 15 points, almost 10 boards, and just over two blocks, and he’s not even playing 30 minutes a night. Oh, and top top it all off? He’s shooting over 90% from the free throw line and getting there almost three times a game. The only turkeys here are the national media who aren’t covering him.

Speaking of stuffing, the top of this year’s NBA rookie class might be the best in a decade. There are so many good ones: KAT, Kristaps, Okafor… Justice Winslow is playing 20-30 minutes a night and looks like he has a future as an elite defender. Nikola Jokic is tearing it up for the Nuggets (PER over 21). Who says second round picks don’t matter? Here he is stuffing the stat sheet against Clippers who were playing this game like it was the second quarter of summer league run.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R94NqV3W6rM

It’s time to admit it. Draymond Green is one of the NBA’s best players. The prince of stuffing is one of the NBA’s best post defenders, and one of its most versatile offensive player. The deal he signed in the offseason will end up being an absolute bargain for the undefeated Warriors. If he’d have waited a year, he could have signed a $130 million dollar deal.. He’s averaging 12.7/7.8/6.6 on points, rebounds, and assists and throwing up 1.3 blocks and 1.2 steals. Oh, and he’s shooting 43% from three. Ugh.

Speaking of stuffing. I’ve been saying that Kawhi Leonard is a top-five NBA player for some time. There’s no denying it now. As the best player for the third best team in the league (maybe even the second best), Kawhi is straight destroying the league. His shooting splits? Only 52%/47%/85% while dropping 22 a game and adding 8 boards, two dimes, two steals, and a block all while playing a Popovichian 35 minutes a night. Oh and Kawhi’s slinging daggers in late game situations. If not for Steph Curry, Kawhi would be the MVP of the league right now. Chris Grant is such a freaking turkey.