Recap: Free Agency Fireworks So Far (or, Some Sizzle… Some Fizzle… Some Duds)

Happy Fourth of July Cavs fans! Well, we wanted fireworks… and we got some. A little more than three days into the 2015 Free Agency, and there have already been pyrotechnics galore. From the moment the clock struck 12:01am (EST) on Wednesday, the deals, rumors and reports on this year’s NBA Free Agents have filled the air like so many spectacular burning embers.

With deals exploding faster than the salary cap will next summer, the Cavs have been right in the thick of it all, and putting on a heck of a show thus far. Others have joined them in the celebration, popping off with record-setting numbers to retain their own Free Agents and to lure others to come check out their displays. While a few of the former big guns of the league have experienced some failure to launch in their bid to find new ways to wow their crowds.

Here’s a quick breakdown from the bombs bursting in air, all the way down to the sparklers, black snakes and smoke bombs from the past week…

The Sizzle

Cleveland Cavaliers

CavsDan got everyone’s attention when he set off one of the biggest surprise bombshells of Free Agency, locking up Kevin Love, not just for one more season, but for a five year max deal to the tune of $110 million. He followed that with a quick fuse on a four year deal for Iman Shumpert (at $10M per), and also looked to be on the verge of setting off some major Canadian Dynamite (although the launch on that has been delayed momentarily). While there’s still the volatile J.R. Smith to deal with, as well as the Thunder from Down Under, it sure looks like Dan G has all the ammunition required to reassemble his full arsenal, and he’s keeping the flammable Haywood contract in reserve to add to his already considerable war chest. When it’s all said and done, Gilbert and Griff will have put on a display that should wow even the King. And speaking of LeBron, though he’ll probably wait until the smoke has cleared to fire off his own rocket, it should make for a tremendous grand finale. Grade: Jester’s Revenge (the biggest and most expensive firework you can legally purchase…)

Chicago Bulls

The Bulls haven’t been all that flashy, but they’ve also done what they needed to do to keep two of their core free agents in the fold. They re-signed Jimmy Butler to a max deal (five years/$90M) to keep their starting back court intact, and they pulled the trigger on Mike Dunleavy (three years/$15M) to keep him safely away from the Cavs. With Kirk Hinrich also opting in, the Bulls will seemingly return fundamentally intact, plus draft pick Bobby Portis and new Head Coach, Fred Hoiberg. Grade: Peony firework (not flashy, but effective)

Dallas Mavericks

Just when it looked like disaster was brewing for the Mavs, losing their starting back court plus Tyson Chandler and Al-Farouq Aminu, they pulled out the heavy artillery and managed to fire up deals with Wesley Matthews (four years/expected $13M per) and, surprisingly, DeAndre Jordan (four years for a max $80M). Dallas had to lobby hard to convince both targets away from other suitors (Matthews from the Kings, who reportedly offered a larger $64M deal; and DJ from his comfort zone with the Clippers), but they had a secret weapon in Chandler Parsons: Professional Diner. While the Mavs still need some semblance of a point guard to toss lobs to their new big man, and they’re taking a calculated risk with Matthew’s recovery from an achilles tear, their late flourish should keep them in the mix in the crowded West. Grade: Titanium Salute (great for making a lot of noise at the end of a show)

Miami Heat

Keeping up with the firepower of the Cavs and Bulls is challenging, but the Heat have done just about all they could (given their limited resources) to keep up. After Luol Deng opted in, Pat Riley got Goran Dragic to take a bit less than the max (five years, $90M) instead of the close to $108M he could have pushed for, and found a compromise to keep DWade flashing around the American Airlines Arena for one more year (also under the max at $20M). Riles even managed to keep the crowds buzzing by having top FA, LaMarcus Aldridge, bump Phil Jackson and the Knicks in favor of having dinner with the Gordon Gekko of the NBA. The cap space simply isn’t there for the Heat to snag LMA this year (barring a massive and intricate multi-team deal that would require Miami to ship out Chris Bosh and find a way to dump tons of additional salary), but it wouldn’t be a huge surprise to see Aldridge wind up taking a 1+1 deal somewhere, and become Plan B if Riles can’t get Kevin Durant to South Beach next summer. Grade: Crackling Flash (bright and loud, but don’t last long…)

Milwaukee Bucks

The Bucks set out to do two things in Free Agency: 1) Retain Khris Middleton (they signed him to a five year, $70M deal); and 2) Sign a big man. They accomplished their second goal in dazzling fashion, out-shining both the Lakers and the Knicks to sign Greg Monroe to a three year, $50M max deal. It’s not that they were the only one of the three to offer Monroe the max, but the big man decided to turn down the bright lights of L.A. and N.Y. for the Midwestern powerhouse that the Bucks are building. Say what you want about Monroe being a below-average defender… the truth is that both the Lakers and Knicks pushed hard for him… and came up short. The Bucks now have a massive starting line-up they can trot out next season, and it’s clearer than ever that the allure of the big guns on the coasts has waned considerably. Grade: Sky High (when you really want to reach for the sky…)

New Orleans Pelicans

Oh say Cans you see? New Orleans started Free Agency off with a BANG when they wasted no time offering up a max extension to their rising superstar, Anthony Davis. The Brow immediately accepted the richest deal in NBA history (a five year, $145M deal) faster than Joey Chestnut can jam a Nathan’s dog down his gullet, and will become the highest paid player in the NBA. This massive deal alone would probably be enough to warrant the Pelicans being listed in this section, but they also pulled off some sneakily shrewd deals to re-sign two of their big men as well. They were able to lock up both Alexis Ajinca (a bargain at four years, $20M), and Omer Asik (five years, $60M) to solidify their front court for the foreseeable future. Grade: The Big Bang (when you want to let everyone know you’re serious from the start)

Phoenix Suns

Not unlike their fellow small-market brethren Bucks, the Suns lit up the sky with two big shots. The first was to re-sign one of their own young stars, Brandon Knight (five years, $70M), and the second was to land a big man in Tyson Chandler (four years, $52M). Yet, the Suns are hoping that these two weapons can help them entice a third to join them, and have unloaded everything they have (including sending Danny Granger, Reggie Bullock and Marcus Morris to the Pistons to clear cap space) in an effort to snag LaMarcus Aldridge. So far, their efforts have paid off, making them frontrunners (along with the Spurs) in the race for LMA’s services. If they somehow were to pull it off, they might just skyrocket to the top of this list. Grade: Sunburst (almost ready to blow…)

San Antonio Spurs

Nobody seems to reload better or quicker than the Spurs. They wasted no time re-signing Kahwi Leonard to a max extension (five years, $90M) shortly after The Brow got his. They also managed to convince Danny Green to come back for the “bargain” price of four years at $45M. And, now that they’ve divested themselves of the contracts of Tiago Splitter, Aaron Baynes and Marco Belinelli, they’ve nearly cleared enough cap space to go after their ultimate weapon, LaMarcus Aldridge. The Spurs appear to be in a relative dead heat with the Suns in the chase for LMA (with Portland and the Lakers still in the mix but fading), and if they emerge victorious, they will have successfully shifted the balance of power in the West back to San Antonio. Grade: Roman Candle (just when you think they’re done… they just keep shooting)

The Fizzle

Atlanta Hawks

Fortunately for the Hawks, they didn’t wind up losing their shootout with the Magic over Paul Millsap. The talented forward wound up taking one less year than Orlando was offering to re-sign with the team he won 60 games with last year. At three years, $59M, Atlanta was able to keep Millsap around without completely breaking the bank. However, they didn’t fare as well with their other forward, DeMarre Carroll, losing him to a four year, $60M deal from the Raptors (reportedly, the Hawks weren’t even in the top four highest bidders for Carroll). They also lost “stretch five” big man, Pero Antic, who bolted back to Turkey for a two year deal. Though they did trade for Tiago Splitter for some frontline help, the Hawks’ relatively lackluster free agency period (thus far), combined with their underwhelming draft doesn’t seem to bode well for next year’s prospects. Grade: LED Fireworks (they look like the real thing, but they’re not)

Brooklyn Nets

Yes, the Nets moved quickly to launch more than $100M at their two free agent big men, Brook Lopez and Thad Young (three years, $60M and four years, $50M respectively). And they even made a couple of other low risk FA gambles with Thomas Robinson and Shane Larkin. However, they’ve had zero luck in unloading some of their old and pricy pieces like Joe Johnson, Deron Williams and Jarrett Jack. Also, many believe they likely overpaid to keep their two big men, and have left themselves with very little flexibility to improve. Grade: Secondhand Fireworks (yeah, you got a really good deal… but they just didn’t work)

Indiana Pacers

Larry Bird misfired in David West’s estimation, which is why he surprisingly opted out of the final year of his deal, and is looking for a new situation. So, despite getting Paul George back for next season, this development (coupled with their repeated attempts to run Roy Hibbert out of town) seemed to signify the beginning of the rebuild for Bird and the Pacers. They did somehow manage to convince Monta Ellis to climb aboard, providing them with some prospective punch to their aerial assault. Yet, it doesn’t seem like the move will propel them out of the middle of the pack. Grade: Firecrackers (they kinda sound scary, but there’s nothing to see here)

Orlando Magic

You have to give the lowly Magic credit for at least trying to make something happen in Free Agency. They set their sights high, offering Paul Millsap a four year, $80M deal to come and add some veteran fire. Unfortunately, Millsap spurned them to take a shorter deal and stay with the more accomplished Hawks. Not wanting to come up empty, Orlando put most of the rest of their gunpowder into offering disgruntled forward, Tobias Harris, a whopping four year, $64M deal to put aside his differences with new coach Scott Skiles (which he quickly accepted). While they’re also working to bring in C.J. Watson, the Magic are still a ways off from being a crowd-pleaser. Grade: Magic Whip (spins around and tries really hard)

Washington Wizards

Where’s the justice and the American Way when you’re missing The Truth? Despite initial indications to the contrary, Paul Pierce broke some hearts in the nation’s capitol when he called “game” on the Wizards and went home to L.A. and his old coach, Doc. The Wiz pulled a trade for Jared Dudley, and signed Gary Neal in an attempt to piece together some reasonable facsimile for what Pierce provided last season, and they’re still in the hunt to pull in David West. If they do manage to land him, they potentially move up to Sizzle level… but if not, it’s a bit of a letdown. The Truth hurts. Grade: Bottle Rockets (they make a lot of noise, but are fairly harmless)

The Duds

Los Angeles Clippers

How did the Clippers manage to blow this up so badly? They added a terrific piece in Pierce, blew out some dead weight and took a gamble on Lance Stephenson, then somehow forgot to show up and give some love to their big man DeAndre. While main culprit and team leader CP3 was off vacationing in the Bahamas with LeBron and Melo, CPE (Chandler Parsons Esquire) was starring in his new stage play “My Dinner With DeAndre.” Listen guys, if you let Chandler wine and dine DJ and let Mark Cuban whisper sweet nothings like “you can be a 20/20 guy with us” in his ear… he’s probably gonna bolt. Just a potentially crippling loss for the Clips. Grade: M80 (nothing to see, but if you’re not careful you can lose a limb)

Los Angeles Lakers

From the moment Jeannie Buss thumbed out her Tweet about what kind of music she should listen to in advance of her big Free Agent meeting, you just knew things were probably going to go badly for the Lakeshow. Actually, things haven’t gone all that well for the Lakers for a few years now come to think of it. After a marathon meeting to bring “LA to LA” resulted in LaMarcus being so unimpressed that he crossed LA off of his list, the Lakers had to go into full-on scramble mode and beg for a second interview (this time one where they PROMISED to talk about actual basketball and not legacy). Though LMA graciously agreed to it, the Lakers’ chances don’t look good. Maybe even more embarrassing though for the once mighty purple and gold, is that they’ve been roundly spurned by most every other major Free Agent as well. At least last year it was LBJ and Melo… this time around, it’s Kevin Love, DeAndre Jordan, Greg Monroe and Robin Lopez. Even Ed Davis didn’t feel like sticking around, signing with the Blazers for three years and $20M. The Lakers may finally have to come to grips with the fact that literally NOBODY wants to play with Kobe, and also banners just don’t mean what they used to. Grade: Sparklers (sure they look pretty, but they’re really just not functional)

New York Knicks

Jeannie’s boyfriend, Phil, isn’t having much luck drawing FA crowds either. Things got so desperate this week that it took a retired player (Al Harrington) to finally represent someone who actually wanted to go play for the Knicks. Phil was finally able to raid the hemorrhaging Portland roster for a couple of Free Agent signings, netting Aaron Afflalo (albeit on a short two year, $16M deal) and Sideshow Bob er… Robin Lopez (four years, $54M), but only after both he and the Lakers got spurned by Greg Monroe for the greener pastures of Milwaukee. Seriously, when was the last time the Knicks and Lakers lost out to a small-market, cold, mid-western team when pursuing a big man? Obviously, Phil has many of the same problems that his girlfriend does. The bright lights of the big cities aren’t the draw they once were, especially when you have the wet blanket of selfish superstars (Kobe and Melo). Grade: Black Snake (you keep waiting for something to happen but it never does… kinda zen though…)

Portland Trailblazers

Poor Portland. As a Cavs fan that lived through LBJ leaving in Free Agency, it’s tough to watch another small town lose its centerpiece star. Granted, LMA is no LBJ, but he’s been a terrific fit in that town and on that team. They still have Damian Lillard (who they extended for five years, $120M), but they also lost Wes Matthews (Mavs), as well as Robin Lopez and Aaron Afflalo (Knicks). There’s still a glimmer of hope that LaMarcus decides to return to the pacific northwest (after all, they can still offer him the most money), but if he ultimately goes somewhere else like San Antonio or Phoenix, Portland is in for a pretty major overhaul. Grade: Smoke bomb (pretty good way to clear out a room)

Sacramento Kings

It makes you wonder what George Karl must have done in a past life to karmically deserve the hellish sentence of coaching both Boogie Cousins AND Rajon Rondo… TOGETHER. Though he may not make it to opening day, it could just be that Vivek Ranadive just wants to see if he can push GK far enough so that he’ll quit and forfeit his salary. The Rondo signing (even though it’s just for one year at $9.5M) is probably neither a good fit, nor a sound business decision. The Kings did try to throw money at several other Free Agents (like Wes Matthews), and at potential Karl replacements (like John Calipari), but they were roundly snubbed by most. Aside from Rondo, they did somehow con Marco Belinelli into signing up (three years, $19M), but the real focus seems to be finding a way to Apocalypse Now their way out by jamming their powder keg and rigging it to blow. Grade: Dynamite (for when you absolutely, positively need to blow something to pieces)