#CavsRank Villains: 5-4, The Lie and The Truth

September 4th, 2015 by EvilGenius

The old adage, “hurt me with the truth, but don’t comfort me with a lie” rings particularly accurate with our next two #CavsRank Villains. Coming in at numbers five and four respectively are two perpetrators that we love to hate for being on the opposite sides of the trust scale. The first was once loved as a feel-good underdog story, who seemed like a key component among the King’s men before he infamously deceived a blind man. The second was a self-proclaimed Truth that had enough support to become a reality simply too hard for the Cavs to handle.

Believe it or not… here are today’s #CavsRank Villains…

5. Carlos Boozer

The man who’s name karmically rhymes with “loser,” was considered by many to be the biggest turncoat in Cleveland sports since Art Modell fled to Baltimore in the middle of the night in the fall of 1995. And while the “cash-poor” Modell’s betrayal came because he was blinded by his own greed, Boozer’s own greedy betrayal took advantage of an actual blind man.

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#CavsRank Villians: 7-6, the Gecko and the ‘Roid Monster

September 2nd, 2015 by Tom Pestak

Villains come in all shapes and sizes. They’re not always pretty. Sometimes they take what they want by force. And sometimes, they’re incipiently slick and persuasive enough to corrupt even the most loyal into giving in to their sense of greed with the promise of untold riches and rings. However, they’re all ruthless in their own ways, be it trash talking and rebounds, delivering hard elbows and collecting scalps, or having a forked tongue slipperier than any amount of brylcreem worked into a slick-back power ‘do from the mid-80s. And sometimes they’re devoid of guile: merely some three-point slinging ‘roided up Turks (in both senses of the word) playing out of their minds.

7. Pat Riley

(By Cory Hughey) Riley certainly is a villain of his time. The only reason people look fondly upon the 80s, is because it was so coke vomit terrible. It’s hilarious in retrospect that any of it actually happened. Read the rest of this entry »

#CavsRank Villains: 9-8, Pebbles and the Baddest Bad Boy

September 1st, 2015 by EvilGenius

Every great rivalry has its infamous goons. Today, we celebrate denigrate, two of the all time thugs/instigators/enforcers/jerks in Cavs history. There may be bigger villains on this countdown, just for what they’ve done to the Cavs’ hopes and dreams, but nobody was more dirty, despicable, infuriating, whiny, smug, and hateable than these two.

9. Joakim Noah

(By EvilGenius) What’s so great about Joakim Noah?

The answer is, not much, unless you’re into ridiculously long frizzy top-knots, patchy growths of facial pube-hair, Strahan-level gap tooth, whiny expressions, endless streams of obscenity-laced complaints and a shooting style that’s possibly even uglier than its owner. Read the rest of this entry »

#CavsRank Villains: 12-10

August 31st, 2015 by David Wood

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12. Kelly Olynyk

(David Wood)In the first round of the 2015 playoffs, Boston Celtic Kelly Olynyk averaged just 4.5 points and under one defensive rebound per game against the Cavs. Yet, he altered the course of the the NBA when he injured Kevin Love’s shoulder and ensured Cleveland would be missing a star for the rest of the postseason.

Kelly doesn’t usually make impressions because of outstanding basketball performances. In January of 2014, I was up in Boston visiting my girlfriend’s family. Her parents got us tickets to see the Celtics play the Hawks. It was a family affair, her brother and sister both came to the game with us. When Kelly Olynyk checked into the game, my girlfriend and her sister commented on him right away. “Look at his hair, it’s so greasy.” “Who wears a headband like that.” “Even a man bun wouldn’t help him.”

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Flashback Friday: Go, Go Mozilla!

August 28th, 2015 by EvilGenius

Taking a short break from the villainy of this week, let’s use a laid back Friday to flashback to a time when a certain Russian big man invaded Cleveland like a gigantic monster that came to help destroy opponents, send their fans fleeing for the exits and nearly cause their head coaches heads to explode.

Yes, he would eventually go by many names (Mozzy, Moz-erati, Ivan Drago, etc.), but on this day in late January, Martin Luther King Day to be precise, Timofey Mozgov was dubbed “Mozilla” in Cory’s terrific recap of Timo’s first home game with his new team in his new city. I’m not sure if Cory was the first to christen this particular nickname, but he was most assuredly the first (with an assist from Arch Stanton) to put it to song…

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#CavsRank Villains: 15-13

August 27th, 2015 by David Wood

Sometimes villains are easily personified as thugs, bullies, trash talkers and irritants. They’re annoying and brash, and are usually the component that makes losing that much harder to swallow. But other times, it’s not that simple. Sometimes, players’ bodies betray them or cruel twists of fate intervene to derail even the most promising playoff run. As we’ve witnessed all too often, bones can break just as easily as hearts in The ‘Land.

So, buckle up and take your Dramamine as you journey through the hazards of our next three #CavsRank Villains on the countdown…

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#CavsRank Villains: 20-16

August 26th, 2015 by Robert Attenweiler

20. Jim Paxson

(By Cory Hughey) Some of the most flagrant terrorists to the American ideal have been internal, from Benedict Arnold to Timothy McVeigh. Some of the biggest villains to the Cavaliers chances at winning a title ate away at the franchise like a termite, from the inside out. You could make the case that Paxson was a victim of circumstance, and I don’t think he intentionally damaged the team (except for tanking for LeBron of course), but he was certainly a stooge. The Cavaliers failed miserably under Paxson’s time in the rusty throne to the tune of a 185-307 record.

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#CavsRank Villains: 25-21

August 25th, 2015 by David Wood

Now that you’ve seen the bad guys who missed the cut, today begins our Cavs:The Blog’s #CavsRank Villains actual countdown. You can find the (dis)honorable mentions here. I’m joined by EG to bring you guys numbers 25-21. Some of these culprits are on here for enabling the dislocation of a certain Cavs star’s shoulder. Some because they did their part to crush the hopes and dreams of the Cavs in the playoffs. Others because they’re just jerks. One guy even made the cut for getting fat.

One thing’s for certain, it’s appropriate that famed Boston coach Red Auerbach appears in the above basketball “villain” graphic, since this section of the countdown is riddled with nauseating shades of Celtic green…

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Introducing #CavsRank… Villains!

August 24th, 2015 by Nate Smith

The Joker, Hans Gruber, the Wicked Witch of the West, Voldemort, Emperor Palpatine, Ivan Drago, Hal 9000, Michael Corleone, Shredder, Iago, Cruella de Vil… Often, we remember a great villain more than we remember a great hero. For every Indiana Jones, there’s a Mola Ram. We Cavs fans have our own villains that have ripped our beating CavsHearts from our chests.  To discover them, we polled our crack staff to discover who and what we all still have nightmares about, and in the course of the next week or so, we’ll be counting down the biggest villains in Cavs history. (Big props to the commentariat’s TV63 who suggested the idea).

First up? Our (dis)honorable mentions, many of whom are just as memorable as the guys at the top. “Kali Ma!” indeed.

Charles Barkley

(By Nate Smith)  Sir Charles was a protagonist on a rough-and-tumble 76ers team that bounced the Cavs from the playoffs in 1990. Not only did the round mound level Craig Ehlo with a vicious foul in that series, but the Chuckster also averaged 25.6 points and 14 boards.

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Cavs Sign Sasha Kaun to 2-Year Deal

August 23rd, 2015 by Robert Attenweiler

sash

The Cavaliers off-season bench bolstering locked in one of its final pieces Saturday with the signing of Sasha Kaun to a two-year deal.

The 6-11 Kaun was the 56th overall pick in the 2008 NBA Draft by the Seattle Supersonics before his rights were dealt to the Cavs for cash. Kaun, though, never donned the wine and gold choosing, instead, to play professionally in his native Russia for Euroleague power CSKA Moscow. Last season, Kaun averaged career highs with 9.9 points and 4.5 rebounds while playing 20.1 minutes per game.

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