Archive for the ‘Silly Posts To Help Us Cope’ Category

NBA Jams… Cavs Edition

Tuesday, August 18th, 2015

A few weeks ago, when Mo Williams officially agreed to come back to the Cavs for a second stint, I started pondering something truly exciting. Sure, Mo should definitely help man the back-up PG position, providing skilled ball-handling and instant scoring off the bench. But I also realized the return of Mo Gotti might also bring about a return of the music sting following each triple he hits from downtown. Yes, I can’t wait for the possibility that the PA system at the Q will once again blast the familiar strains of the theme song from The Godfather in honor of Mo’s predilection for gangster flicks.

Then, because that’s just how my brain works, I started thinking about how all the other Cavs should have their very own theme songs or anthems that play, either when they check into the game or following a made basket or generally awesome play. After all, why should Mo and Andy (Wild Thing) be the only guys with specific songs?

I recognize that the Cavs have their own musical tastes that get them pumped up for gametime, so these selections are more for fan enjoyment and comedic effect. Here’s what I came up with… see if you agree.



Tuesday, May 26th, 2015

[Are we sure that Delly wasn’t in Houston last night? That city was also flooded today forcing the Texans to cancel practice…]

Did anything bad happen to you today? Did anything ruin your Memorial Day weekend? Have you seen any unfortunate disasters or annoying mishaps befall people you know or places you go? Chances are… it was all Delly’s fault.

Yes, this pesky Australian spit-fire, recently dubbed practically Public Enemy #1 in these NBA playoffs by any number of talking heads and Atlanta Hawks, should likely be the culprit in everything from your burnt morning toast to the real cause of global warming…

Who knew at the start of the season (heck, even at the start of these playoffs) that the man once derided as “Dellava D-League” would become known as the dangerous and infamous “Aussie Assassin”?


Love’s Labour’s Lost… And the 5 Stages of Dealing With It

Friday, May 1st, 2015

[If you haven’t taken a listen to Tom’s terrific chat with Mark Neal… please read no further until you have done so…]

This past week has been a challenging one for Cavs fans, myself included. What should have been the joy and satisfaction of victory, easily sweeping a first round series against a scrappy Boston team, turned rapidly into the agony and pain of a nightmare injury scenario in one awkward yank.

I hate admitting it, but I’m old enough to have witnessed the painfully devastating Jim Chones injury that effectively ended the “Miracle of Richfield” season in 1976. But, be you a long time, die-hard believer in the wine and gold like me, a relative newcomer to the “All In” bandwagon, or somewhere in between, the now nearly unfolded saga of the dislocation of Kevin Love (both his arm from his shoulder socket, and his presence in the starting lineup of his team) has likely sent you careening with me down the rabbit hole of the infamous Kübler-Ross model for the Five Stages of Grief. And if it didn’t, then you are likely either numb or immune to the concept of the curse of being a Cleveland sports fan… or you are a robot.

The stages themselves (for me at least) have arrived on an almost daily basis, with each passing 24-hour frame offering up a new layer of information, media attention and discussion about the joint in question. So, it seemed fitting to break them down that way…


An Open Letter to Earl Joseph Smith, III

Friday, March 27th, 2015

Dear Earl,

I have two words for you… I’m sorry.

I don’t know if you’ve already heard this mea culpa sentiment from other former doubters, haters or pessimists, but I for one can say in all honesty that I completely misjudged what your impact on this team would be from the start. (more…)

Uniformity: Dressing for Success

Friday, March 6th, 2015



…or, Nay?

The Cavs are looking sharper in the alt blue unis…but are they lucky?

Though seemingly mothballed after the home loss to the New York Knicks for what could only have been karmic reasons, we’ve seen a recent resurgence of the Cavs alternate blue uniforms. Since their unfortunate debut, the Cavs have evened up their record in the alt unis to 2-2. It remains to be seen if this positive trend continues, but for now it appears that the blue will factor more heavily in the mix.

However, this seems like all the uniform experimentation we can expect as Cavs fans this season (not including the forgettable special “first name” X-Mas jerseys). We’re seeing a plethora of new designs and color schemes being used around the NBA this year, and it’s curious that the Cavs aren’t at the forefront of that… especially given the connections two certain all-stars have with a certain major shoe and athletic apparel company.

So, how did we get here? (more…)

Adventures in The ‘Land (or the Night Delly Kept me Out of Jail)

Thursday, February 5th, 2015


Editors Note: This was originally supposed to be a recap, but time and life intervened, and a recap of a Monday game seems silly now. Instead we thought we’d give you a taste of the gameday experience. Sensing a probable victory, Cory Hughey and I traveled to Cleveland from our respective burghs to sample the game-night experience on a cold Monday evening in February.

Cory: I prefer to go to a game with someone who knows the game of basketball, so that I don’t have to explain what’s going on like John Madden. Fortunately, my old friend Craig Wellman could go. As teenagers we would play basketball in his driveway until the sun gave up for the night. Then we’d put up lights and play until the neighbors started yelling. It was a simpler time in life that I miss dearly. Just kids playing the sport they love and never tiring from it. The pain in me knees reminds me of it everyday.

There are multiple options for getting Cavs tickets. You can enter yourself in the Cavs single game lottery system and never get seats. You can also get fleeced on Ebay, Craigslist or by a scalper for tickets also. My personal favorite way to get tickets is via Flashseats, one of Dan Gilbert’s numerous enterprises. Flashseats is similar to gambling in a way (more on that later), have a number in mind that you and your company are comfortable with paying. For the 76ers game, my limit was $50 a seat. Don’t forget about the tax via that Dan Gilbert gets to keep (I wanna say it’s 12% but don’t quote me on that). Fortunately for the snowpocolypse, tickets were going much below face value for that particular game. I saw multiple lower-level seats going for under $30 a seat.


Resisting the Urge

Tuesday, January 27th, 2015



The Cavs have been linked to quite a few different players of late, from the recently released Nate Robinson and Jordan Farmar to China’s Bobby Brown and Will Bynum. Heck, there’s even been talk about bringing in Golden Buckeye candidates, Tayshaun Prince and Ray Allen. The Cavs, though, should resist any temptation to mess with the roster right now. I know, I know. This from the guy who said about a dozen times that you can never have too many “bullets in the gun,” but after my lamentations about roster construction earlier this year, David Griffin went out and brought in three rotation players that have markedly changed the talent level of the starting lineup and the bench. Those moves worked, LeBron got healthy, and now the team is winning. So don’t screw it up! The Cavs brass should resist the urge to mess with the roster. They should respect the streak, learn from team history, and not sacrifice the team’s future.


Dear Santa…

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2014

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all our readers! Today is Festivus. As fans, we definitely don’t have as many grievances to air this year. We all got a big present under our tree when LeBron returned to Cleveland, and a slew of new players came with him. With the Cavs fielding a competitive team for the first time in four years, it’s a lot easier to be a Cavs fan this year like it has been in years past. Heck, we even get a Christmas day game! We seem to spend every game recap airing our grievances (especially in the losses), so regardless of how good or bad the Cavs are on the court, I always like to take this time of year to point out what a solid group of guys the Cavs have in their locker room. The Cavs organization has done a great job of fielding a team of young men who serve as admirable ambassadors for the city of Cleveland and Northeast Ohio.

I point you to the Cavaliers in the Community page for a list of all the programs the Cavs and their players support. Santa, it’s obvious that these Cavs inhabit the “Nice List.” Here’s what we’re asking you to bring them this Chrstmas. It’s a nice way to say thank you for all the joy that the entire Cavaliers family brings us throughout the year.


Paying off a Bet; Throwing Down a Gauntlet

Monday, October 27th, 2014

So Tom Pestak and I made a bet last spring on whether the Cavs would make the playoffs. I lost. The stakes? An embarrassing video. I tried to duck him for months, but he finally threatened to beat me with a mini-golf putter unless I paid up. So here it is, a re-enactment of an infamous moment in Cavs history. Little does Tom know, I’m using this as an opportunity to test his Cavs faith.

Here’s video of the classic David Wesley layup, just so you can compare.

So as if the Cavs didn’t have enough motivation to bring a championship to Cleveland, now they have to worry about me having a heart attack if they don’t. Go Cavs, and Happy Halloween!

On Reconciliation

Wednesday, October 1st, 2014

lebron cutout2

I’ve often wondered about the stories of divorced couples who get remarried — especially when there may have been another relationship in the middle for one or both parties. How do couples learn to trust each other again? How do you remember the past without dwelling on negativity? How do you get over the hurt you’ve caused each other? I’ve been pondering these questions because I’d really like to repair my relationship with LeBron.