Archive for the ‘Silly Posts To Help Us Cope’ Category

Uniformity: Dressing for Success

Friday, March 6th, 2015



…or, Nay?

The Cavs are looking sharper in the alt blue unis…but are they lucky?

Though seemingly mothballed after the home loss to the New York Knicks for what could only have been karmic reasons, we’ve seen a recent resurgence of the Cavs alternate blue uniforms. Since their unfortunate debut, the Cavs have evened up their record in the alt unis to 2-2. It remains to be seen if this positive trend continues, but for now it appears that the blue will factor more heavily in the mix.

However, this seems like all the uniform experimentation we can expect as Cavs fans this season (not including the forgettable special “first name” X-Mas jerseys). We’re seeing a plethora of new designs and color schemes being used around the NBA this year, and it’s curious that the Cavs aren’t at the forefront of that… especially given the connections two certain all-stars have with a certain major shoe and athletic apparel company.

So, how did we get here? (more…)

Adventures in The ‘Land (or the Night Delly Kept me Out of Jail)

Thursday, February 5th, 2015


Editors Note: This was originally supposed to be a recap, but time and life intervened, and a recap of a Monday game seems silly now. Instead we thought we’d give you a taste of the gameday experience. Sensing a probable victory, Cory Hughey and I traveled to Cleveland from our respective burghs to sample the game-night experience on a cold Monday evening in February.

Cory: I prefer to go to a game with someone who knows the game of basketball, so that I don’t have to explain what’s going on like John Madden. Fortunately, my old friend Craig Wellman could go. As teenagers we would play basketball in his driveway until the sun gave up for the night. Then we’d put up lights and play until the neighbors started yelling. It was a simpler time in life that I miss dearly. Just kids playing the sport they love and never tiring from it. The pain in me knees reminds me of it everyday.

There are multiple options for getting Cavs tickets. You can enter yourself in the Cavs single game lottery system and never get seats. You can also get fleeced on Ebay, Craigslist or by a scalper for tickets also. My personal favorite way to get tickets is via Flashseats, one of Dan Gilbert’s numerous enterprises. Flashseats is similar to gambling in a way (more on that later), have a number in mind that you and your company are comfortable with paying. For the 76ers game, my limit was $50 a seat. Don’t forget about the tax via that Dan Gilbert gets to keep (I wanna say it’s 12% but don’t quote me on that). Fortunately for the snowpocolypse, tickets were going much below face value for that particular game. I saw multiple lower-level seats going for under $30 a seat.


Resisting the Urge

Tuesday, January 27th, 2015



The Cavs have been linked to quite a few different players of late, from the recently released Nate Robinson and Jordan Farmar to China’s Bobby Brown and Will Bynum. Heck, there’s even been talk about bringing in Golden Buckeye candidates, Tayshaun Prince and Ray Allen. The Cavs, though, should resist any temptation to mess with the roster right now. I know, I know. This from the guy who said about a dozen times that you can never have too many “bullets in the gun,” but after my lamentations about roster construction earlier this year, David Griffin went out and brought in three rotation players that have markedly changed the talent level of the starting lineup and the bench. Those moves worked, LeBron got healthy, and now the team is winning. So don’t screw it up! The Cavs brass should resist the urge to mess with the roster. They should respect the streak, learn from team history, and not sacrifice the team’s future.


Dear Santa…

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2014

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all our readers! Today is Festivus. As fans, we definitely don’t have as many grievances to air this year. We all got a big present under our tree when LeBron returned to Cleveland, and a slew of new players came with him. With the Cavs fielding a competitive team for the first time in four years, it’s a lot easier to be a Cavs fan this year like it has been in years past. Heck, we even get a Christmas day game! We seem to spend every game recap airing our grievances (especially in the losses), so regardless of how good or bad the Cavs are on the court, I always like to take this time of year to point out what a solid group of guys the Cavs have in their locker room. The Cavs organization has done a great job of fielding a team of young men who serve as admirable ambassadors for the city of Cleveland and Northeast Ohio.

I point you to the Cavaliers in the Community page for a list of all the programs the Cavs and their players support. Santa, it’s obvious that these Cavs inhabit the “Nice List.” Here’s what we’re asking you to bring them this Chrstmas. It’s a nice way to say thank you for all the joy that the entire Cavaliers family brings us throughout the year.


Paying off a Bet; Throwing Down a Gauntlet

Monday, October 27th, 2014

So Tom Pestak and I made a bet last spring on whether the Cavs would make the playoffs. I lost. The stakes? An embarrassing video. I tried to duck him for months, but he finally threatened to beat me with a mini-golf putter unless I paid up. So here it is, a re-enactment of an infamous moment in Cavs history. Little does Tom know, I’m using this as an opportunity to test his Cavs faith.

Here’s video of the classic David Wesley layup, just so you can compare.

So as if the Cavs didn’t have enough motivation to bring a championship to Cleveland, now they have to worry about me having a heart attack if they don’t. Go Cavs, and Happy Halloween!

On Reconciliation

Wednesday, October 1st, 2014

lebron cutout2

I’ve often wondered about the stories of divorced couples who get remarried — especially when there may have been another relationship in the middle for one or both parties. How do couples learn to trust each other again? How do you remember the past without dwelling on negativity? How do you get over the hurt you’ve caused each other? I’ve been pondering these questions because I’d really like to repair my relationship with LeBron.


2014 NBA Draft Live Blog

Thursday, June 26th, 2014

Mallory and Nate will be consuming craft beer (drink responsibly) and live blogging the 2014 NBA draft.  #GoCavs

Holy cow!  I’m late.  A long trip to New Jersey to get some Great Lakes (I swear) has resulted in me being late.  But HOLY MOLY ANDREW WIGGINS!   Thoughts?

2nd Pick is (no surprise) Anth…errr Jabari Parker.  What do you guys think?  Perfect fit?  I’m glad he’s near home, at least?  Who should Philly pick?

Nate: Mallory, So I’m drinking Fat Head’s Sunshine Daydream Session ale.  You?

Mallory: I’m freezing some GLBC Wright Pils.  Lets hope it’s cold in time for me to make fun of LA.

3rd Pick is…JOEL EMBIID!  Nate is probably excited about this, because he loves broken down centers (which there are now two of in Philly…)


CtB 2014 Mock Draft

Thursday, June 26th, 2014

Who doesn’t love a mock draft? At this point, we’ve all read dozens. Why not one more!? CtB’s mock now has 25% more mocking! For the first pick, we all got together and voted, and then we went by order of seniority to pick everyone else in a classic snake draft. Riveting, right? Aside from the 18 trades that will happen, tonight, we’re sure this is exactly how it will play out.


#WellActually You’re Wrong to be Outraged about the Lottery

Friday, May 23rd, 2014

I promise to pen only one rant-post a season.

Let me start by saying I currently have two enormous pet peeves frequently generated by journalists/pundits.  The first is the use of the word “nuance” or “nuanced” which is code for “I am enlightened and/or reasonable enough to understand that the world isn’t black and white, there are “shades of gray” and therefore my “nuanced” discussion or analysis is superior to your opinions, which are essentially Neanderthal grunting”.

This thinly-veiled hubris is insufferable, and the phrase du jour has permeated every sector and level of journalism.  It’s one thing when the almond-milk drinkers at The Atlantic are using it; it’s another when sportswriters writing about…well sports, revert to it over and over and over.  Can we go back to talking like characters from “da Bears” sketches already?  It’s just as intelligent, only without the overwhelming smugness.


A Bunch of Random Observations, One Liners, and Parenthetical References

Thursday, November 21st, 2013

Matthew Dellavedova has stolen our hearts. Maybe he should have been the No. 1 pick.

Could the Cavs just save themselves a lot of money and heartache by using the DraftExpress top 100 prospects list to run their draft every year?

Kyrie Irving has to be embarrassed that Matthew Dellavedova has played better defense in two games than Irving has in any game in two seasons, right?

Matty D should get a start tonight. Though, I’m not sure our perception of his defense against Washington wasn’t amplified by the fact that he was the only one playing it. Also, Randy Whitman helped more than a little.

Watching a Brown/Whitman coaching duel is like watching kindergarteners play Stratego.

Subway’s sponsorship of The Hunger Games: Catching Fire makes me more than a little queasy. <Insert Sriracha joke here>