Archive for the ‘Silly Posts To Help Us Cope’ Category

Dear Santa…

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2014


Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all our readers! Today is Festivus. As fans, we definitely don’t have as many grievances to air this year. We all got a big present under our tree when LeBron returned to Cleveland, and a slew of new players came with him. With the Cavs fielding a competitive team for the first time in four years, it’s a lot easier to be a Cavs fan this year like it has been in years past. Heck, we even get a Christmas day game! We seem to spend every game recap airing our grievances (especially in the losses), so regardless of how good or bad the Cavs are on the court, I always like to take this time of year to point out what a solid group of guys the Cavs have in their locker room. The Cavs organization has done a great job of fielding a team of young men who serve as admirable ambassadors for the city of Cleveland and Northeast Ohio.

I point you to the Cavaliers in the Community page for a list of all the programs the Cavs and their players support. Santa, it’s obvious that these Cavs inhabit the “Nice List.” Here’s what we’re asking you to bring them this Chrstmas. It’s a nice way to say thank you for all the joy that the entire Cavaliers family brings us throughout the year.

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Paying off a Bet; Throwing Down a Gauntlet

Monday, October 27th, 2014

So Tom Pestak and I made a bet last spring on whether the Cavs would make the playoffs. I lost. The stakes? An embarrassing video. I tried to duck him for months, but he finally threatened to beat me with a mini-golf putter unless I paid up. So here it is, a re-enactment of an infamous moment in Cavs history. Little does Tom know, I’m using this as an opportunity to test his Cavs faith.

Here’s video of the classic David Wesley layup, just so you can compare.

So as if the Cavs didn’t have enough motivation to bring a championship to Cleveland, now they have to worry about me having a heart attack if they don’t. Go Cavs, and Happy Halloween!

On Reconciliation

Wednesday, October 1st, 2014

lebron cutout2

I’ve often wondered about the stories of divorced couples who get remarried — especially when there may have been another relationship in the middle for one or both parties. How do couples learn to trust each other again? How do you remember the past without dwelling on negativity? How do you get over the hurt you’ve caused each other? I’ve been pondering these questions because I’d really like to repair my relationship with LeBron.

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2014 NBA Draft Live Blog

Thursday, June 26th, 2014

Mallory and Nate will be consuming craft beer (drink responsibly) and live blogging the 2014 NBA draft.  #GoCavs

Holy cow!  I’m late.  A long trip to New Jersey to get some Great Lakes (I swear) has resulted in me being late.  But HOLY MOLY ANDREW WIGGINS!   Thoughts?

2nd Pick is (no surprise) Anth…errr Jabari Parker.  What do you guys think?  Perfect fit?  I’m glad he’s near home, at least?  Who should Philly pick?

Nate: Mallory, So I’m drinking Fat Head’s Sunshine Daydream Session ale.  You?

Mallory: I’m freezing some GLBC Wright Pils.  Lets hope it’s cold in time for me to make fun of LA.

3rd Pick is…JOEL EMBIID!  Nate is probably excited about this, because he loves broken down centers (which there are now two of in Philly…)

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CtB 2014 Mock Draft

Thursday, June 26th, 2014

Who doesn’t love a mock draft? At this point, we’ve all read dozens. Why not one more!? CtB’s mock now has 25% more mocking! For the first pick, we all got together and voted, and then we went by order of seniority to pick everyone else in a classic snake draft. Riveting, right? Aside from the 18 trades that will happen, tonight, we’re sure this is exactly how it will play out.

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#WellActually You’re Wrong to be Outraged about the Lottery

Friday, May 23rd, 2014
you-can-catch-more-flies-with-honey-than-with-vinegar-well-actually-a-study-showed-that-the-vinegar-gets-more

I promise to pen only one rant-post a season.

Let me start by saying I currently have two enormous pet peeves frequently generated by journalists/pundits.  The first is the use of the word “nuance” or “nuanced” which is code for “I am enlightened and/or reasonable enough to understand that the world isn’t black and white, there are “shades of gray” and therefore my “nuanced” discussion or analysis is superior to your opinions, which are essentially Neanderthal grunting”.

This thinly-veiled hubris is insufferable, and the phrase du jour has permeated every sector and level of journalism.  It’s one thing when the almond-milk drinkers at The Atlantic are using it; it’s another when sportswriters writing about…well sports, revert to it over and over and over.  Can we go back to talking like characters from “da Bears” sketches already?  It’s just as intelligent, only without the overwhelming smugness.

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A Bunch of Random Observations, One Liners, and Parenthetical References

Thursday, November 21st, 2013

Matthew Dellavedova has stolen our hearts. Maybe he should have been the No. 1 pick.

Could the Cavs just save themselves a lot of money and heartache by using the DraftExpress top 100 prospects list to run their draft every year?

Kyrie Irving has to be embarrassed that Matthew Dellavedova has played better defense in two games than Irving has in any game in two seasons, right?

Matty D should get a start tonight. Though, I’m not sure our perception of his defense against Washington wasn’t amplified by the fact that he was the only one playing it. Also, Randy Whitman helped more than a little.

Watching a Brown/Whitman coaching duel is like watching kindergarteners play Stratego.

Subway’s sponsorship of The Hunger Games: Catching Fire makes me more than a little queasy. <Insert Sriracha joke here>

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Sizing up the Central: The Milwaukee Bucks

Thursday, August 29th, 2013

I know you remember the game the picture above is from.  So do Dion and Andy, as they daily recollect the commitment they made to each other in this moment…”we will never let the Bucks beat us like that again”.

And they’re right; Brandon Jennings is gone.  Following up on Robert and Patrick’s looks at the Pacers and Bulls, I drew the short straw and preview Cavs versus Bucks.  On the other hand though, the Bucks were the Eastern Conference 8th seed last year; this may be the most important match-up for the young, playoff-hungry, Wine and Gold.  On to it…

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Kevin’s Pseudo-Scientific 2013-2014 Projections, Part 3!!

Wednesday, August 28th, 2013

Last week, an “unbiased” and “good case” view for the 2013-2014 Cavaliers season was offered through the lens of basketball-reference.com’s Win Shares data.  More so than any team in the NBA though, the spectrum of likely outcomes spans wide for Cleveland.  Built from an enticing mix of players young and / or repeatedly beset by injury, a 30-win or 50-win season is believable.  A sampling of outcomes driving the team toward another lottery trip looks like: (more…)

Kevin’s Pseudo-Scientific 2013 – 2014 Projections, Part 2!!

Friday, August 23rd, 2013

The week began with an “unbiased” projection utilizing Win Shares for the 2013-2014 Cavaliers season.  That is a fine disposition for a Monday, but heading towards the weekend, the sun shines brighter, skies are bluer; it’s time for a cheerier outlook than 41 wins.

Transitioning to a “good case” only took three adjustments.  The end result with those modified Win Shares per 48 minutes and Win Shares is:

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