Archive for the ‘Opinion’ Category

#CavsRank Villians: 7-6, the Gecko and the ‘Roid Monster

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2015

Villains come in all shapes and sizes. They’re not always pretty. Sometimes they take what they want by force. And sometimes, they’re incipiently slick and persuasive enough to corrupt even the most loyal into giving in to their sense of greed with the promise of untold riches and rings. However, they’re all ruthless in their own ways, be it trash talking and rebounds, delivering hard elbows and collecting scalps, or having a forked tongue slipperier than any amount of brylcreem worked into a slick-back power ‘do from the mid-80s. And sometimes they’re devoid of guile: merely some three-point slinging ‘roided up Turks (in both senses of the word) playing out of their minds.

7. Pat Riley

(By Cory Hughey) Riley certainly is a villain of his time. The only reason people look fondly upon the 80s, is because it was so coke vomit terrible. It’s hilarious in retrospect that any of it actually happened. (more…)

#CavsRank Villains: 9-8, Pebbles and the Baddest Bad Boy

Tuesday, September 1st, 2015

Every great rivalry has its infamous goons. Today, we celebrate denigrate, two of the all time thugs/instigators/enforcers/jerks in Cavs history. There may be bigger villains on this countdown, just for what they’ve done to the Cavs’ hopes and dreams, but nobody was more dirty, despicable, infuriating, whiny, smug, and hateable than these two.

9. Joakim Noah

(By EvilGenius) What’s so great about Joakim Noah?

The answer is, not much, unless you’re into ridiculously long frizzy top-knots, patchy growths of facial pube-hair, Strahan-level gap tooth, whiny expressions, endless streams of obscenity-laced complaints and a shooting style that’s possibly even uglier than its owner. (more…)

#CavsRank Villains: 12-10

Monday, August 31st, 2015

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12. Kelly Olynyk

(David Wood)In the first round of the 2015 playoffs, Boston Celtic Kelly Olynyk averaged just 4.5 points and under one defensive rebound per game against the Cavs. Yet, he altered the course of the the NBA when he injured Kevin Love’s shoulder and ensured Cleveland would be missing a star for the rest of the postseason.

Kelly doesn’t usually make impressions because of outstanding basketball performances. In January of 2014, I was up in Boston visiting my girlfriend’s family. Her parents got us tickets to see the Celtics play the Hawks. It was a family affair, her brother and sister both came to the game with us. When Kelly Olynyk checked into the game, my girlfriend and her sister commented on him right away. “Look at his hair, it’s so greasy.” “Who wears a headband like that.” “Even a man bun wouldn’t help him.”

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#CavsRank Villains: 15-13

Thursday, August 27th, 2015

Sometimes villains are easily personified as thugs, bullies, trash talkers and irritants. They’re annoying and brash, and are usually the component that makes losing that much harder to swallow. But other times, it’s not that simple. Sometimes, players’ bodies betray them or cruel twists of fate intervene to derail even the most promising playoff run. As we’ve witnessed all too often, bones can break just as easily as hearts in The ‘Land.

So, buckle up and take your Dramamine as you journey through the hazards of our next three #CavsRank Villains on the countdown…

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#CavsRank Villains: 20-16

Wednesday, August 26th, 2015

20. Jim Paxson

(By Cory Hughey) Some of the most flagrant terrorists to the American ideal have been internal, from Benedict Arnold to Timothy McVeigh. Some of the biggest villains to the Cavaliers chances at winning a title ate away at the franchise like a termite, from the inside out. You could make the case that Paxson was a victim of circumstance, and I don’t think he intentionally damaged the team (except for tanking for LeBron of course), but he was certainly a stooge. The Cavaliers failed miserably under Paxson’s time in the rusty throne to the tune of a 185-307 record.

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#CavsRank Villains: 25-21

Tuesday, August 25th, 2015

Now that you’ve seen the bad guys who missed the cut, today begins our Cavs:The Blog’s #CavsRank Villains actual countdown. You can find the (dis)honorable mentions here. I’m joined by EG to bring you guys numbers 25-21. Some of these culprits are on here for enabling the dislocation of a certain Cavs star’s shoulder. Some because they did their part to crush the hopes and dreams of the Cavs in the playoffs. Others because they’re just jerks. One guy even made the cut for getting fat.

One thing’s for certain, it’s appropriate that famed Boston coach Red Auerbach appears in the above basketball “villain” graphic, since this section of the countdown is riddled with nauseating shades of Celtic green…

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Introducing #CavsRank… Villains!

Monday, August 24th, 2015

The Joker, Hans Gruber, the Wicked Witch of the West, Voldemort, Emperor Palpatine, Ivan Drago, Hal 9000, Michael Corleone, Shredder, Iago, Cruella de Vil… Often, we remember a great villain more than we remember a great hero. For every Indiana Jones, there’s a Mola Ram. We Cavs fans have our own villains that have ripped our beating CavsHearts from our chests.  To discover them, we polled our crack staff to discover who and what we all still have nightmares about, and in the course of the next week or so, we’ll be counting down the biggest villains in Cavs history. (Big props to the commentariat’s TV63 who suggested the idea).

First up? Our (dis)honorable mentions, many of whom are just as memorable as the guys at the top. “Kali Ma!” indeed.

Charles Barkley

(By Nate Smith)  Sir Charles was a protagonist on a rough-and-tumble 76ers team that bounced the Cavs from the playoffs in 1990. Not only did the round mound level Craig Ehlo with a vicious foul in that series, but the Chuckster also averaged 25.6 points and 14 boards.

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The Point Four-ward: In (Con)Tract-ion

Wednesday, August 19th, 2015

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Four points I’m thinking about the Cleveland Cavaliers…

1.) It has become almost commonplace to say that LeBron James never stops surprising. For all the highlights, the masterful performances, and even this season’s Herculean Finals run, he’s just one of those players who can still surprise. He can surprise, in spite of how much more surprising his feats must be than those of other players. He can surprise, in spite of our judgement of him being set so ridiculously high.

This summer has been no exception.

No, LeBron hasn’t come out with a surprise on the scale of Summer 2014’s “The Return,” but in smaller ways, he’s proven just as difficult to anticipate.

Take, for example, James’s stance on the Tristan Thompson contract negotiations. First, when it was widely expected that James, who shares agent Rich Paul with Thompson, would wait for Thompson to come to terms before signing his own contract with the team, James did the opposite. On July 9, the first day that NBA free agent contracts could be signed, James informed the team that he’s be back on what amounts to a one-year $23 million deal (the deal’s second year, is a player option for $24 million).

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Pop Quiz: I Know What I Did This Summer…

Wednesday, August 12th, 2015

What would a healthy run of good summer filler be without a check-in to see what, if anything, your favorite CtB writers think about, dream of, yearn for and… well, consume heaping portions of when they’re not hard at work covering your Cleveland Cavaliers?

We may not be riding banana boats with fellow NBA stars and their celebrity wives (or maybe we are) but that doesn’t mean we don’t know how to kick back and enjoy ourselves some off-season too.

So, without further ado…

1.) What have you been listening to this summer?

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Pop Quiz: Around the NBA

Tuesday, August 11th, 2015

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Our second day of testing finds the CtB classroom at near capacity.

The Cavaliers blipped back onto the NBA’s near-silent off-season radar yesterday with the report that Tristan Thompson’s agent Rich Paul said that, should the Cavs and their restricted free agent PF/C fail to reach a long term deal — meaning that Thompson would sign a one-year $6.9 million qualifying offer and become an unrestricted free agent in the summer of 2016 — next season would be the popular player’s “last year with the Cavs.”

CtB’s writers — with our trademark prescience — chimed in on the Thompson situation in yesterday’s pop quiz. So today, it’s on to the rest of the NBA:

1.) True or False: The Lakers, as Kobe Bryant predicted, will make the playoffs.

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